Translator：Xiong Yajie

 

What kind of people are lawyers?

Rigorous, orderly, serious, unsmiling?

 Pay attention, the following people may make you "surprised"——

On November 12, 2021, Landing Law Offices's first global stand-up comedy conference was held at the North Bund Shanghai office. 16 performers and dozens of audiences in the atmosphere group, through a microphone, jointly completed a humorous feast of legal people within two hours.

While dagger in the heart and taking it personal, laughing and cursing, they used their strength to open up a new blue ocean of career paths-the end of the legal profession is a stand-up comedy.

 

 

In the past two days, some actors have sent messages in the group saying

I'm under a lot of pressure, I'm afraid it won't be funny

I think it's unnecessary

Because the show is good or not

It's not about whether the actor's speech is funny or not

The key is in the atmosphere group

Whether they want to laugh or not  

02. Yunqing Wang

The lady who picked me up was waiting for me outside for two hours 

She thought i didn't get on the plane

After hearing my story

She asked me if i smoked

I said I don’t usually smoke, but I really want one today 

 03. Yuqing Niu

 I have low self-esteem

Sometimes feel worthless

At this time you chat with the boss

He will extract your surplus value

Once the boss asked me

As a trainee lawyer

Can salary cover expenses?

I was a little moved when I heard this

Then the boss said look

If I add 5,000 yuan to your base salary

Can you create a profit of 10,000 yuan for me?

This is the capitalist 

 

 

04. Zijun Zhou

A client told me

I especially want to see your lawyers in court

I asked him why he had such anti-human thoughts

He said your lawyers are so dignified

Can walk around the courtroom

You can point to the opposing lawyer and say they are wrong

You can also point to the judge and say they made the wrong judgement

You can also cross-examine the witness who can only answer yes or no

I suddenly understood something

I said,  still wearing a robe?

I said, are they still wearing robes?

Wearing a white roll on top of the head

Better still have a mallet in hand

You got it wrong

We are lawyers

Not mage 

 

 

05. Nianjun Xu

Since I was a child, I have always hoped that I would work in the legal industry in the future

But my parents always felt

I'm a kid who's not fit to be a lawyer

They think if I'm a lawyer

The future must be walking in

On the road of assisting the bad guys in committing crimes

But after years of trying to win them over

They figured it was better for me to be a lawyer

Because if it wasn't

I may not be the one who assists the bad guys in committing crimes

I might go straight to the criminal

 

 06. Yi Lin

The three of us are sitting in the original office

Discuss which law firm in Shanghai to "defect" to

I am a loyal fan of the director

Just say it in very pure Sichuan dialect

Come on let's go see "Landing"

Director Du said

"Landing"? Also "Female"?

We finished running dozens of law firms in Shanghai

They deny us without exception

Then the three of us looked at the Raffles in front of us

Director Du said

Well, Landing is Landing

 

 07. Junlan Chang

Usually when the judge hears the words Landing and Junlan Chang

Always thinking

Every time I will truthfully explain to the judge

Until one day

I'm in battle with a judge over a legal matter

The judge asked me to break the ice

Lawyer Chang, did you establish Landing?

I really wanted to give a young lawyer some power

But you can't lie to him, can you?

I smiled meaningfully at him.

The judge nodded and sighed

It's not easy for young people nowadays

At that time, I suddenly understood the mentality of a scumbag

Their usual trick is

Do not take the initiative, do not refuse, do not deny

The most reasonable saying is: You have to think so, I can't help it 

 

08. Xinmei Chen

Actually, it's really hard to be successful as a female lawyer

You are so beautiful that people will doubt your profession

You are too ugly, people don’t want to communicate with you

Lawyer Gao told me today that appearance is very important

It shows your respect for others

I just realized

It turns out that sometimes people tell me

You do not respect me

It's saying you're ugly 

 

09. Ying Wan

I used to work in a company as a in-house counsel

have a good life

One day, the company suddenly said that it would engage in "wolf culture"

Eliminate one person every quarter

I wonder

What kind of wolf culture is this?

Isn't this a werewolf kill?

I resigned and came to the law firm

The work of a trainee lawyer is indeed much richer than that of a in-house counsel

Run errands for the boss, make tea, and plant flowers

But i never thought

My job content is also include

Stand-up Comedy

 

 10. Yu Yin

When i was an assistant

Very, very scared to call the officer in court

I usually take out a pen and think about it first

I want to say who I am

which law firm do i come from

what is the name of my client

I want to ask what the judge's last name is

When is the trial

What is our case number

Wrote a lot

Then pick up my phone and start calling

beep-beep-beep

Can't get through

Then I told my boss

Boss, I can't get through the phone

I called very seriously but the judge refused to answer

Then the boss picked up the phone

Click it once

Hello? Judge Zhang?

 11. Lei Tian

I am forced to attent today

Supposed to be standing here today

It should be Lawyer Shen from our criminal department

Lawyer Shen, she is more professional than me

Because of that letter “Shen”

It's a little longer on the top than my last name, and it's a little longer on the bottom than my last name

I asked Lawyer Shen

Why on earth would she give up such a good opportunity?

She says

The main reason is that the sponsor used improper methods

What methods

She says

Fraud, coercion, and taking advantage of others

12. Yunkai Ye

One day an important client came to negotiate

After seeing my appearance and my not-so-branded outffit

Slightly hesitant

So I took him around my office

Office A09, invincible river view room

Then take him to Director Liu's booth at my door

I said, director, stand up for me

The director immediately put on his suit and tie

The most important thing is tightening his 20 year belt

The client ended up commissioning me

Whisper to me

I have seen so many law firms

The director's office is the largest

But in Landing, your office bigger than the director's office

And even though you're not wearing a brand

However, the director's belt...

I finally understand

The good intentions of the director sitting in the booth and wearing a belt for 20 years

This is for everyone to step on the shoulders of giants to take over business 

13. Xinyan Jia

Lawyers don't say I love you when they meet love

Would say i want to give myself to you

Then let's make proceeds together

Although there is a high probability that a naughty child will be produced in the end

But the sobriety in the world never fails to live up to daily necessities

So no matter what field of practice you are in

Enjoy your love

 

 14. Rong Li

That year I went to Wendeng, Weihai, Shandong for the trial

I was dumbfounded when the judge talked during the trial

I wonder if this place near the sea can't speak foreign languages

I just raised my hand to signal the judge

I said sorry judge please speak Mandarin

The judge took a look at me

Shyly tell me that I can't speak Mandarin

At this time, lawyers all over the country are a famliy

The opposing lawyer stood up

He is willing to translate for me

The whole process is very harmonious

The case is settled

15. Weifeng Jiang

I have a generation gap with my assistant now

I said that recently someone in the firm has made a lot of money

He said it's useless to generate high income

It's only useful if you have a big belly

I said whoever is highly educated

He said it doesn't matter if you have a high degree

Your blood pressure is higher

I said, what direction should we choose for "one main and two auxiliary" next year?

Should I choose the International Department? It’s as chic as Director  Xinli Li

Or the Construction Department, as down-to-earth as Lawyer Chaowen Xiao

Or choose the Finance Department, as elegant as Lawyer Xian Sun

He replied

You better stay in the criminal department

  

16. Shenghui Cai

Last year our firm planned to develop a small program

Hired a guy who studies software design

I just chat with him

I said what do you usually do?

He said playing games

What do you do on weekends?

Playing games, watching dramas, sleeping

I said don't you want a girlfriend?

He said what to do with a girlfriend

I said that as an intellectual property lawyer

I want to base on the necessary technical characteristics and distinguishing technical characteristics

Summarize the field, technical effects and technical solutions of things

In the end, I summed it up for a long time and didn't come up with an answer

I can only say that I wish you happiness

 

Lawyers and stand-up comedians are language artists.

A lawyer is not a machine that memorizes the law, but an insight into the industry, society, theory and logic.

We hope to tell you through the stand-up comedy conference: Lawyers not only have knowledge and work, but also have more fun, thinking and life.

I also hope that this pursuit and love for happiness can become a healing agent that often accompany lawyers in their lives.

 

Finally, to quote lawyer Yunkai Ye: Stand-up comedy are the standard for testing lawyers, because we are either on a stand-up comedy or on our way to a stand-up comedy.